Excommunication

He came from a small village in northwest Iowa.
This was his third admission to a church-related
psychiatric hospital. He was forced to go by his wife,
his minister, and his church.

The problem? He kept sneaking away to a nearby small city
in order to engage in sexual relations with other men.
Then he would return to his wife and children with regrets
and do penance.

He said that people wanted him to change and that as soon as
he was discharged the minister would be at his house asking
him if he was cured. He would be required to stand in front
of this congregation and confess his sin.

The chaplain asked him if he thought this could be cured
wondering why he repeatedly allowed them to condemn him.
He claimed he did not believe he could be cured and he expected
he would not stop participating in sexual relations with men.

The chaplain said his choice was to either continue to be
condemned by his community or move away to a place where he
found acceptance and support.

Several weeks later the administrative director of the hospital
asked the chaplain to come to his office where he was confronted
with a letter from the minister. It stated that the hospital
chaplain had told the patient it was okay to be gay and that he
did not have to face the abuse of the church.

The chaplain admitted that was essentially the message he had
communicated although he wiggled the truth a little by saying
that he had given the patient a choice: either go back to your
family and do not continue having sex with men or move on and
acknowledge his preference for gay relationships.

The director’s response was merely a frown with no verbal
communication.